Welcome to our update for 2011 and 2012! We not only want you to know what we’ve been
doing with our days, weeks, and months, our family also wants to keep a
chronicle of our lives to look back upon.
Somehow, when we reread our comings and goings, we realize that the good
times were really GREAT times, and the bad ones end up not to be as sharply
devastating as they felt at the time.
We also want to extend our best wishes to you, our friends
and family. We love to hear about your
lives as well, so continue to write, call, email, and visit. We love it…and you!
Sunrise on Conesus
Lake, NY
In this letter, you will find Diane is still living on
Conesus Lake in Lakeville, NY with her father and with Ed, her new husband. Ed and Diane also live in Williamsville, NY,
just east of Buffalo. David graduates from George Washington University and
becomes gainfully employed in Washington D.C.
Jeremy completes his time in high school and begins college. Ed and Diane finally tie the knot. Diane’s father, Bill, gets a new pontoon boat
and a new pacemaker. Ed’s mother, Ann,
turns 80 and overcomes a bad fall. If
you want the synopsis, that was it. If
you want details, read on.
I (Diane) continue to deal with adrenal fatigue and
fibromyalgia. I get so tired at times
that all activity must cease and a nap is the only way to continue, even if
that means putting the car in park at a red light and closing my eyes for a
moment. It can be pretty difficult,
living with what feels like sleep deprivation all the time. I have sought out a type of alternative
medicine called “anti-aging medicine.”
This practice is lead by a medical doctor who specializes in giving the
body bio-identical tonics that fill in what is missing. I take many supplements throughout the day,
as well as some medications based on very detailed blood and saliva
testing. I do feel better; the constant
muscle pain is almost gone and I don’t need to worry about the adverse effect
on other organs due to medications that mask the symptoms but do nothing to cure
the problem. The fatigue remains a
factor, so much so that I am still unable to work reliably or drive more than
20 minutes without adequate preparation.
I might be able to put in one day’s work, as long as I really rest up
for it. I cannot continue the pace the
next day, however.
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| Dad and Diane, Highland Park, Rochester, NY |
Another symptom of adrenal fatigue is weight gain,
especially if I am dieting and/or exercising. That is counter-intuitive, isn’t
it? I would start to gain weight, so I’d
eat protein and vegetables and exercise more.
I’d keep gaining, so I’d get more stringent with my food and exercise
more. I would keep gaining. I got to almost 200 pounds by eating right
and exercising. How can that be? My doctor gave me this scenario: I am a bleeding soldier on a
battlefield. I decide to diet and do
push-ups, so my body shuts down or saves calories in my midsection to keep me
alive. It took me going on a special
hormone with strict food requirements with special combinations in order for me
to lose 45 pounds, but I did it! The “diet”
starts out with two feasting days. I had
to eat as much as I could and anything I wanted for two days. It is fascinating that, especially after all
my dieting, I couldn’t eat very much, and the foods I wanted to eat almost made
me sick after a small amount. Can you
believe that I couldn’t fit in an ice cream cone? I couldn’t do it. I thought I would explode if I ate it! I wasn’t allowed to exercise or exert much
energy while on this phase of the program, not even stretching exercises. I’d
like to lose another 30 pounds still, but the last time I tried the regimen
again, my body wouldn’t respond. I’ll
try to keep my weight steady and attempt the rest of the weight loss after
awhile.
It is a real struggle to keep within five pounds of my
lowest weight though, without the hormones.
I work at it every single day, beginning with my weight first thing in
the morning. If I am 2 pounds heavier
than the day before, I am allowed 3 whey protein drinks, a meal supplement
drink, and a salad with protein and oil and vinegar dressing. If I haven’t gained 2 pounds or more, I can
have 2 meals with one meal supplement and 1 – 3 whey protein drinks throughout
the day. On average, I have 2 days per
week that I can eat 2 meals a day. The
other days are basically liquid and a salad only. I began to exercise at Curves, a circuit
training with low aerobics and muscle training, but that proved too much for my
energy level. The doctor allows me to
attend two restorative Yoga classes each week, which still zap my energy, but
with plenty of rest, I am able to manage that type of exercise most weeks. It is quite a bit of work to remain at a
stable weight, but it is much better than gaining all the time!
I began my own business called “the GAMUT.” I offer services to others who need extra
help. I have been able to do some work
for Ruth, my friend from church. I
helped her move into a mobile home on the lake, and then had to help her get
into an assisted living facility. I
assisted Ruth in getting both her knees replaced (one at a time) so she isn’t
in constant pain. She also had a pretty
nasty skin cancer spot that required reconstructive plastic surgery. I pay her bills, take her to doctor’s appointments,
work on memory albums to record the memories while she still has them, and
visit as much as I can. I also watered a
couple’s garden during the summer. They
have a garden like none other! It is
really about 15 acres of gardens. They
open their home to garden tours. This
proved to be too much for me, unfortunately.
I was able to complete the season of watering, but was unable to do much
of anything else except for the basics.
I had absolutely no energy left, even for fun. I work a minimal part-time schedule, but the
money helps me live a frugal lifestyle with a few perks. It wouldn’t be
possible to make it without the help from my father. Thank you, Dad!
Being the sole proprietor of my own business has allowed me
to have access to health care insurance.
I must pay for my tonics and alternative doctor’s appointments out of
pocket. Those costs plus the monthly
insurance premium just about costs any earnings I have, but it is better than
nothing! I have found that getting
healthy costs more than being sick in the traditional sense. What a paradox!
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| Rochester Oratorio Society Friends |
Over these past two years, I’ve enjoyed some
extra-curricular activities. It looks
like quite a lot when I compile them in one spot like this. At the time, it seemed like I was too tired
to do anything, but I guess I got in some fun.
 |
| Resonanz |
I continue to sing with Rochester Oratorio Society and an
off-shoot of that chorus, Resonanz. I
sang in a concert with the Finger Lakes Choral Society in the summer, as well
as in a performance of “Porgy and Bess” in Kodak Hall at Eastman Theater, as
part of the backup chorus. I sing in
church choir and play in church choir and play in the bell choir.
Raleigh Ringers toured through the Rochester area, and our bell choir
gathered to see exactly how far we have to go yet! I spend Sundays in the Buffalo area now, so I
sing with the choir at First Presbyterian Church of Tonawanda, NY, located just
north of Buffalo. I’ve been in a quartet
in my new church too.
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| Sideways Card Sharks (Sorry!) |
I “meet with my mother’s friends” which is the same as
saying I play bridge with them once per week in the form of a lesson. There is a lot of talk about what our bids
mean and what we should play next. Bridge is a challenging game that takes a
lot of pre-planning and card-counting, so my mental fatigue helps the opponents
enjoy good scores on their hands. We
rotate partners, so no one has to be the losing team with my inability to
remember what I’m supposed to.
A bunch of us meet monthly to work on our photo albums and
scrapbooks. I am working on the second
to last album for David. I had promised
them all as a graduation present from college, but I couldn’t manage it. Jeremy is expecting all of his albums for
graduation from college too. I bet I
won’t be able to complete them all in time.
After Jer’s albums, I’ll get back to doing mine again.
I volunteered as a
Mentor Mom to an unwed, teenage mother for awhile. She moved into another county, and although I
would have enjoyed keeping up with her and her infant son, it was more than 20
minutes away, and I got too sleepy at the wheel to meet with them.
I also served as a mentor for the youth wanting to join the
church. We met every Sunday evening for
a few months, as we studied about the Presbyterian religion and our reasons for
wanting to become members.
I spent some time giving back to an organization that helped
me get through some of the rough times during my separation and divorce. Neutral Ground Support Organization is a
group in Rochester, NY that supports those who have suffered the loss of a
relationship, whether through death, divorce, or separation. The folks that run this not-for-profit have
all benefited from being former members of the group. I ran a fundraising campaign based on a
stewardship campaign model used in the church.
It consisted of multiple mailings and a final picnic for the culminating
event. I tithed my year’s income and
sent out all the mailings. The group and
I put on a picnic at my father’s lake house for the final hoorah. We set up a sponsorship program for those
with limited means to be able to attend the group meetings, with a built-in
thank you system from the receiver. It
was a great success. This group helped
me and many others get back on our feet again when the rug was pulled out from
under us. They deserve what I was able
to give back and more.
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| Beaujolais "Beau" |
Of course, I help Dad when he needs it. He’s doing very well since he got his new
pacemaker and began taking a new medicine to help with his heart. I try to cook a new dish for him weekly and
help out with the docks, raking leaves, and clearing snow with a push-shovel. Whenever possible, I cook up a Sunday evening
dinner for my sister, Barb, her husband, Harry, Dad, Ed, Ruth, and whoever else
wants to come. (This is when we miss
Jeremy, Amanda and Laura, all freshmen in college, the most.) Mom used to put on the best meals on Sundays,
so I am trying to continue her tradition. Dad enjoys taking a leisurely boat
ride using his new pontoon boat on the lake on summer evenings. I try to go as often as I am able. One of the larger tasks is helping him put on
a “Ring of Fire” party at the lake each year.
July 3rd on our lake is really something. All the lake dwellers light flares at 10:00
p.m. and enjoy spectacular fireworks. We
begin with swimming and water sports in the afternoon, and eat munchies and
picnic fare until the flares. We have a
bonfire and toast marshmallows. It is a
blast. You have an open invitation to come
join us one of these years!
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| Ring of Fire Party in the Backyard |
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| Delta Sigma Chi 50th Reunion, Heidelberg University, OH |
I was able to get in some traveling, based mainly on
visiting people I wish I could see more often.
Ed gets into a “zone” when he drives, never getting sleepy at the wheel,
so if he is willing to drive us, I’m willing to go! Ed’s gas-guzzling Buick finally died, so we
are a two Prius couple now. It is
amazing how economical car travel is when you get 50 miles per gallon! We spend time at the St. Lawrence River on
the New York/Canada border and in New Jersey, just outside New York City, with
Ed’s family a few times each year. We
also travel to the wedding destinations and receptions of couples whose
weddings Ed officiates as a pastor.
We have been to a winery on the Finger Lakes, a golf course in New Jersey,
our church in Tonawanda, NY, and even in Niagara Falls. We went to Ohio to my Delta Sigma Chi reunion
at Heidelberg University. We were able
to visit with my cousins and their spouses (Julie and Junior, Brenda and Dave, and
Bonnie). We went to Boston to celebrate
the one-year anniversary of my Godchild and her husband, Lindsay and
Stephen. Lindsay and I hadn’t seen each
other in over a decade, so it was so nice to see what a wonderful young lady
she has become. I was delighted to spend
three days in early October, visiting with friends in North Carolina. Thank you for letting me bunk at your house,
Cheri and Jerry! I was able to see the
Whites (Judy, Ted, Evan, Jeremy, Nolan and Judy’s mother), the Greens (Jackie,
Jim and Angel) and the Rubins (Diane, Raoul, Eva and Bill). The main reason for this trip was to say
goodbye to Diane, my co-worker and dear friend.
I went back again just before Thanksgiving to celebrate her life at her
funeral. (The red sky and sun at dawn and dusk are like messages to me from
Diane, letting me know that the world is okay, and that heaven is amazing. I saw the sun rising as I traveled to the Rochester
airport and the sun setting as I drove in Raleigh, NC to begin a most difficult
weekend of saying, “farewell.” Whenever
the sky and sun turn red, I say a prayer of thanks that I was able to know and
love Diane.)
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| Diane and Ed, Letchworth State Park, NY |
Of course, much time and effort was spent planning our
wedding weekend. Ed and I participated
in pre-marital counseling. We thoroughly
enjoyed it! I think our counselor did
too, because it gave her a chance to see lives coming together instead of falling
apart. In order to look my best as the
bride, I had eye surgery in September. My eyes were very puffy on the lids, and
my muscles couldn’t keep them open by the end of the day, so I had them
“done.” Perhaps the questions by the
bridal shop personnel prompted the surgery. (Are you the mother of the bride or groom?
No. Are you the grandmother of the bride
or groom then? No, I’m the bride!) Unfortunately, I somehow contracted the flu
immediately after the surgery, and was down for the count for almost 3
weeks. Luckily, most of the wedding
plans were completed, so it only put us back by a little.
The four-day wedding weekend began on Friday afternoon with
snacks and wine at The North Shore with Judy and Ted White who had just arrived
in town. I went onto a manicure and pedicure
with my friend, Ruth. Next was a
wonderful dessert and drink party at my father’s home. My singing group, Resonanz, made possible by
Jenny Horn and Wendy Willis (Thank you, ladies!), provided the desserts and
sent in wine. On Saturday morning, Ruth
and I got our hair done, then joined my father and others at a restaurant for
breakfast. We had the rehearsal for the
wedding, pictures, a pot luck luncheon in the church social hall, and then a
concert by Resonanz as the lead-in to the wedding. Ed and I had taken ballroom dancing lessons,
so we prepared a waltz routine to “Let Me Call You Sweetheart.” We danced as Resonanz and the congregation
sang. Jeremy played a 4-hands piano
piece with his former piano teacher, Dave Hurd.
We did the traditional lighting of the unity candle, listened to a
hilarious homily by Ed’s friends, Sue and Mitch, and then said the “I
Do’s.” After the ceremony, we had more
pictures taken in the church, and then joined a group of people for photo
opportunities at Letchworth State Park.
We had dinner with a whole crew of wedding guests and then enjoyed
champagne in a friend’s hotel room. Ed
and I stayed in the Bethia Suite at The Big Tree Inn in Geneseo, NY. It was a top-notch accommodation, if anyone
wants to give it a try! On Sunday
morning, we attended church and then enjoyed a cake reception in the social
hall. We bought sub sandwiches and ate
them while en route to 5 wineries with a group of our friends on the Finger
Lakes. We joined others for dinner and
then stayed in the Jacuzzi suite at the Woodcliff Hotel and Spa. The next morning, I enjoyed a massage at the
spa, giving out roses from my bridal bouquet to those walking passed. We joined friends, Judy and Ted, in downtown
Rochester before they caught their flight back home, being sure to stop into
the homemade chocolate shop before they left.
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| Jeremy's Harem, Senior Prom 2012 |
We spent quite a bit of time doing Senior-in-high-school
activities with Jeremy and cousins, Laura and Amanda during the 2011-2012
school year. We put on a graduation
picnic for the girls at the lake. Jeremy
preferred to have kids over to go tubing and miniature golfing for his
graduation celebration. We went to
plenty of performances for all three, and thoroughly enjoyed them all. Of course, there were Senior Proms and goodbye
parties too.
Jeremy had a very busy high school career. He was part of wind ensemble, playing
percussion, and played piano in the jazz band.
He competed on the county and state level in percussion and
piano. He won an award due to performing
5 pieces at one musical competition rather than just one, like all the other
music students. He worked hard at the
Eastman Community Music School in percussion.
In addition to lessons there, he played in Drum Joy, a percussion class
and ensemble. He expertly entertained us
at his Senior recital, filling almost an hour with his rhythmic abilities on
timpani, snare drum and marimba. Jer
took piano lessons with our church organist and played at our wedding. In church, he also played in the bell choir,
attended youth group and put in a major effort as a member of the Pastor
Nominating Committee. Jeremy was chosen
as a Youth Advisory Delegate to General Assembly, the governing body of the
Presbyterian Church USA. He spoke in
front of the thousands gathered there about the use of machinery used to
demolish Christian Palestinian homes in the West Bank.
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| Jeremy, the High School Graduate, with Diane |
Jer was busy taking the SAT test twice and the ACT
once. He was in the play, “Diary of Anne
Frank” and played paying gigs for the Dansville High School musicals. Jer learned to drive. His accidents included
getting hit at a graduation party while parked in the driveway and having a
deer collide down the whole driver’s side of the car while driving home from a
graduation party. It’s just too bad he
didn’t have his own car, because my car now has dents on both sides! Jeremy got his braces off and has become a
very social fellow. He spent some all-nighters
playing “Magic” with friends and having sleepovers complete with pizza, soda,
junk food and movie marathons. One of
his big stories from high school is how he earned detention for two days, how
he worked the detention into his schedule, and how he came to the realization
that most kids go home from school and have time to work on homework because
they aren’t practicing piano and all the percussion instruments, plus taking
the lessons and music classes. You can
ask Jer about how he got detention.
While you are at it, ask him about the time he “took one for the team”
in gym class on his birthday too!
Jeremy graduated from high school and began as a freshman at
Belmont University in Nashville, TN. He was
a physics major, but found that he enjoys religion classes due to the
discussions. He is transferring to Grove
City College in Pennsylvania for his Sophomore year, majoring in Religious and
Biblical Studies. It will be fun to see
where he ends up.
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| Jeremy, Diane and David, the GW Graduate |
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| David and Elizabeth |
David graduated from George Washington University (GW) with
a degree in International Relations, and a minor in Spanish and Economics. He worked full time as a substitute secretary
in a law firm for his first job. He more
recently took a new job in a three-person outfit that matches business partners
with each other. It was a cut in pay,
but feels like this is his “dream job.” He is enjoying the challenge. He and Elizabeth Barnett continue to date
exclusively. Elizabeth will be
completing her graduate work at GW soon, so there will be more changes for them
coming, to be sure.
 |
| Diane and Beau, the Chaperone |
And now, onto the love story. Ed Hoener and I were married in October 2012,
at the peak of the autumn foliage in Upstate New York. (You can see our wedding photos at imagesphotography.com). Ed and I first met when he became the pastor
of our church in Vestal, NY in 1992. I
served as his administrative assistant at the church and we worked on Session
and fundraising together. We have been
in touch throughout the years, mainly through Christmas letters like this
one. Ed has been single for 12 years and
I have for 5.
It all began with a phone call. I called Ed in the Spring of 2007, as I was
selling the contents of our home in North Carolina, asking for an address for a
friend whose returned Christmas card I found while packing. I wanted to get together with friends from
the Binghamton, NY area when Jer and I moved back North. Of course, Ed asked me why I was moving in
with my parents and he received the saga of my first husband’s, Wayne’s,
infidelity, our subsequent break-up and pending divorce. He must have been keeping notes, such as the
date of my ex-husband’s and my separation, because he called me 366 days later
to see if I would consider going out on a date. We met for a hike at Watkin’s
Glen, NY, with my dog, Beau, as a chaperone.
We had a glass of wine after my choir practice. Yes, Ed drove the 3 hours from Binghamton to
Lakeville for a glass of wine! We courted
for 5 years, 1 week and 6 days before marrying.
We waited until I got Jeremy off to college. (It was a rough 5 years for Jer and me, God
bless him!) One of our wedding cakes
(out of 3) said, “I Just Married My Best Friend.” As of the writing of this letter, we have
been married for 6 months. I am so glad
I survived the “Black Hole” also referred to earlier as “the saga” in order to
have this past 6 months with my dear friend and husband.
THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU that helped me get through those
awful years. I bet you weren’t sure,
just like me, that I would make it. My
dear friends in North Carolina and New York, my wonderful family, Neutral
Ground Support Organization in Rochester, and many others kept me on the right
track, reminding me that God always has a plan that we would see unfold if we
waited patiently.
Ed is the full time pastor at the First Presbyterian Church
of Tonawanda, just north of Buffalo, NY.
In addition to enjoying reading and writing, he loves to hike. He feels “fed” when he is on top of a
mountain enjoying a vista. Ed has begun
singing in Rochester Oratorio Society.
He was actually giddy after our first performance. Ed’s guitar needed repair, so it was like
welcoming a long, lost friend when he got it back from the shop. He’s quite good at playing lead guitar, but
doesn’t have the opportunity very often as he serves an elderly congregation
that requires many visitations at home and in the hospital. His expertise in the church, besides allowing
people to feel welcome just “as they are,” is to foster growth by helping the
church reach out to the surrounding community.
He and the church just completed a program entitled, “New
Beginnings.” It helps the congregation
decide whether to wither away as its members die out or to change the way they
have always done things to become a vital member of the community, thus
fostering growth. First Tonawanda has
decided to move forward, beginning with the implementation of Small Group
ministry. It is an exciting time for Ed
and his ministry!
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| Ed's Family |
I’d like to introduce you to Ed’s family. His mother, Ann, turned 80 on Christmas Day
in 2011. Ed’s sisters, Ellen and Sara,
planned a surprise birthday party for her, but Ann fell and broke her leg
(where the femur meets the hip bone) and contracted an infection. She was in the hospital on her birthday, so
the party was moved to late winter of 2012.
I don’t know how Ellen and Sara pulled it off, but Ann had absolutely no
idea that friends and family had come from far and near to celebrate her 80
years in the church social hall in Roselle, NJ.
At the same time Ann broke her hip, Sara and husband Mike were both
being treated for cancer. Ellen and her
husband, Mark, had their hands full in New Jersey, while we fretted from New
York.
Sara and Mike have three children, Rachel, Beca, and
Michael. Rachel works as an early
childhood researcher at NIEER Rutgers University, Beca is attending Rutgers
University as an English major, and Michael is completing his Senior year of
high school.
Ellen and Mark both work in New York City. Ellen insures really expensive artwork and
musical instruments. Mark works for Bank
of America and can work from home, in NJ, helping his mom most days.
There are lots of Schumann, Anderson, and Hoener
relatives. I have met quite a few
already. We gather for a yearly reunion
near July 4th at the St. Lawrence River. Both Ann and her sister, Judy, have summer
places there. We also met many of the
Hoener cousins over Thanksgiving weekend 2012.
They are educators, artists, musicians, Kodak employees, sole
proprietors…very interesting people to meet!
 |
| First Presbyterian Church of Tonawanda Family |
Of course, along with the pastor comes the church
family. The folks at First Presbyterian
Church of Tonawanda are a group of loving, open-armed, and dare I say, quirky,
people, just like any congregation. They
have welcomed me into the church family as if I’ve always been a part of
them. Slowly, but surely, I hope to have
each one over for dinner at our apartment in Williamsville, just east of
Buffalo, NY. When I invite someone to
dinner, I usually am asked, “Why are you inviting me/us over?” They must think they are in trouble with the
pastor or they are being volunteered for something. No, I just want to get to know them. One of our church family, Jack, passed away recently. It hit us all very hard. “Quirky” describes him the best. He was a God-loving, people person who was
never afraid to shed a tear or share why he loved me, all the while teasing me
with constant banter. There’s another
saint in heaven with my mom and Diane!
Quite often, Ed will arrive home from a hospital visit or a graveside
service with tear stains on his glasses.
He truly loves his congregation and they love him, and now, me. We are blessed!
Well, you made it through two years of living and dying, of
laughing and crying. Thank you for
reading my family’s chronicle. May you
feel the blessings that are truly yours to receive!
 |
| Diane Stein Hoener |
