Welcome to our update for 2011 and 2012!  We not only want you to know what we’ve been doing with our days, weeks, and months, our family also wants to keep a chronicle of our lives to look back upon.  Somehow, when we reread our comings and goings, we realize that the good times were really GREAT times, and the bad ones end up not to be as sharply devastating as they felt at the time.

We also want to extend our best wishes to you, our friends and family.  We love to hear about your lives as well, so continue to write, call, email, and visit.  We love it…and you!

Sunrise on Conesus Lake, NY

In this letter, you will find Diane is still living on Conesus Lake in Lakeville, NY with her father and with Ed, her new husband.  Ed and Diane also live in Williamsville, NY, just east of Buffalo. David graduates from George Washington University and becomes gainfully employed in Washington D.C.  Jeremy completes his time in high school and begins college.  Ed and Diane finally tie the knot.  Diane’s father, Bill, gets a new pontoon boat and a new pacemaker.  Ed’s mother, Ann, turns 80 and overcomes a bad fall.  If you want the synopsis, that was it.  If you want details, read on.

I (Diane) continue to deal with adrenal fatigue and fibromyalgia.  I get so tired at times that all activity must cease and a nap is the only way to continue, even if that means putting the car in park at a red light and closing my eyes for a moment.  It can be pretty difficult, living with what feels like sleep deprivation all the time.  I have sought out a type of alternative medicine called “anti-aging medicine.”  This practice is lead by a medical doctor who specializes in giving the body bio-identical tonics that fill in what is missing.  I take many supplements throughout the day, as well as some medications based on very detailed blood and saliva testing.  I do feel better; the constant muscle pain is almost gone and I don’t need to worry about the adverse effect on other organs due to medications that mask the symptoms but do nothing to cure the problem.  The fatigue remains a factor, so much so that I am still unable to work reliably or drive more than 20 minutes without adequate preparation.  I might be able to put in one day’s work, as long as I really rest up for it.  I cannot continue the pace the next day, however.

Dad and Diane, Highland Park, Rochester, NY

Another symptom of adrenal fatigue is weight gain, especially if I am dieting and/or exercising. That is counter-intuitive, isn’t it?  I would start to gain weight, so I’d eat protein and vegetables and exercise more.  I’d keep gaining, so I’d get more stringent with my food and exercise more.  I would keep gaining.  I got to almost 200 pounds by eating right and exercising.  How can that be?  My doctor gave me this scenario:  I am a bleeding soldier on a battlefield.  I decide to diet and do push-ups, so my body shuts down or saves calories in my midsection to keep me alive.  It took me going on a special hormone with strict food requirements with special combinations in order for me to lose 45 pounds, but I did it!  The “diet” starts out with two feasting days.  I had to eat as much as I could and anything I wanted for two days.  It is fascinating that, especially after all my dieting, I couldn’t eat very much, and the foods I wanted to eat almost made me sick after a small amount.  Can you believe that I couldn’t fit in an ice cream cone?  I couldn’t do it.  I thought I would explode if I ate it!  I wasn’t allowed to exercise or exert much energy while on this phase of the program, not even stretching exercises. I’d like to lose another 30 pounds still, but the last time I tried the regimen again, my body wouldn’t respond.  I’ll try to keep my weight steady and attempt the rest of the weight loss after awhile.

Diane, October 20, 2012

It is a real struggle to keep within five pounds of my lowest weight though, without the hormones.  I work at it every single day, beginning with my weight first thing in the morning.  If I am 2 pounds heavier than the day before, I am allowed 3 whey protein drinks, a meal supplement drink, and a salad with protein and oil and vinegar dressing.  If I haven’t gained 2 pounds or more, I can have 2 meals with one meal supplement and 1 – 3 whey protein drinks throughout the day.  On average, I have 2 days per week that I can eat 2 meals a day.  The other days are basically liquid and a salad only.  I began to exercise at Curves, a circuit training with low aerobics and muscle training, but that proved too much for my energy level.  The doctor allows me to attend two restorative Yoga classes each week, which still zap my energy, but with plenty of rest, I am able to manage that type of exercise most weeks.  It is quite a bit of work to remain at a stable weight, but it is much better than gaining all the time!  

I began my own business called “the GAMUT.”  I offer services to others who need extra help.  I have been able to do some work for Ruth, my friend from church.  I helped her move into a mobile home on the lake, and then had to help her get into an assisted living facility.  I assisted Ruth in getting both her knees replaced (one at a time) so she isn’t in constant pain.  She also had a pretty nasty skin cancer spot that required reconstructive plastic surgery.  I pay her bills, take her to doctor’s appointments, work on memory albums to record the memories while she still has them, and visit as much as I can.  I also watered a couple’s garden during the summer.  They have a garden like none other!  It is really about 15 acres of gardens.  They open their home to garden tours.  This proved to be too much for me, unfortunately.  I was able to complete the season of watering, but was unable to do much of anything else except for the basics.  I had absolutely no energy left, even for fun.  I work a minimal part-time schedule, but the money helps me live a frugal lifestyle with a few perks. It wouldn’t be possible to make it without the help from my father.  Thank you, Dad!

Being the sole proprietor of my own business has allowed me to have access to health care insurance.  I must pay for my tonics and alternative doctor’s appointments out of pocket.  Those costs plus the monthly insurance premium just about costs any earnings I have, but it is better than nothing!  I have found that getting healthy costs more than being sick in the traditional sense.  What a paradox!

Rochester Oratorio Society Friends

Over these past two years, I’ve enjoyed some extra-curricular activities.  It looks like quite a lot when I compile them in one spot like this.  At the time, it seemed like I was too tired to do anything, but I guess I got in some fun.

Resonanz

I continue to sing with Rochester Oratorio Society and an off-shoot of that chorus, Resonanz.  I sang in a concert with the Finger Lakes Choral Society in the summer, as well as in a performance of “Porgy and Bess” in Kodak Hall at Eastman Theater, as part of the backup chorus.  I sing in church choir and play in church choir and play in the bell choir.  Raleigh Ringers toured through the Rochester area, and our bell choir gathered to see exactly how far we have to go yet!  I spend Sundays in the Buffalo area now, so I sing with the choir at First Presbyterian Church of Tonawanda, NY, located just north of Buffalo.  I’ve been in a quartet in my new church too.

Sideways Card Sharks (Sorry!)

I “meet with my mother’s friends” which is the same as saying I play bridge with them once per week in the form of a lesson.  There is a lot of talk about what our bids mean and what we should play next. Bridge is a challenging game that takes a lot of pre-planning and card-counting, so my mental fatigue helps the opponents enjoy good scores on their hands.  We rotate partners, so no one has to be the losing team with my inability to remember what I’m supposed to.

A bunch of us meet monthly to work on our photo albums and scrapbooks.  I am working on the second to last album for David.  I had promised them all as a graduation present from college, but I couldn’t manage it.  Jeremy is expecting all of his albums for graduation from college too.  I bet I won’t be able to complete them all in time.  After Jer’s albums, I’ll get back to doing mine again.

 I volunteered as a Mentor Mom to an unwed, teenage mother for awhile.  She moved into another county, and although I would have enjoyed keeping up with her and her infant son, it was more than 20 minutes away, and I got too sleepy at the wheel to meet with them. 

I also served as a mentor for the youth wanting to join the church.  We met every Sunday evening for a few months, as we studied about the Presbyterian religion and our reasons for wanting to become members.

I spent some time giving back to an organization that helped me get through some of the rough times during my separation and divorce.  Neutral Ground Support Organization is a group in Rochester, NY that supports those who have suffered the loss of a relationship, whether through death, divorce, or separation.  The folks that run this not-for-profit have all benefited from being former members of the group.  I ran a fundraising campaign based on a stewardship campaign model used in the church.  It consisted of multiple mailings and a final picnic for the culminating event.  I tithed my year’s income and sent out all the mailings.  The group and I put on a picnic at my father’s lake house for the final hoorah.  We set up a sponsorship program for those with limited means to be able to attend the group meetings, with a built-in thank you system from the receiver.  It was a great success.  This group helped me and many others get back on our feet again when the rug was pulled out from under us.  They deserve what I was able to give back and more.

Beaujolais "Beau"

I’ve had to take my dog, Beau, to a doggy therapist/behaviorist due to his aggression.  Those pedigree dogs don’t seem to realize that the humans are the bosses.  He and my dad have become best pals.  My dad now cooks for the pup every day.  Beau and Dad can be found in the easy chair next to the picture window overlooking the lake throughout the day and evening hours.

Of course, I help Dad when he needs it.  He’s doing very well since he got his new pacemaker and began taking a new medicine to help with his heart.  I try to cook a new dish for him weekly and help out with the docks, raking leaves, and clearing snow with a push-shovel.  Whenever possible, I cook up a Sunday evening dinner for my sister, Barb, her husband, Harry, Dad, Ed, Ruth, and whoever else wants to come.  (This is when we miss Jeremy, Amanda and Laura, all freshmen in college, the most.)  Mom used to put on the best meals on Sundays, so I am trying to continue her tradition. Dad enjoys taking a leisurely boat ride using his new pontoon boat on the lake on summer evenings.  I try to go as often as I am able.  One of the larger tasks is helping him put on a “Ring of Fire” party at the lake each year.  July 3^rd on our lake is really something.  All the lake dwellers light flares at 10:00 p.m. and enjoy spectacular fireworks.  We begin with swimming and water sports in the afternoon, and eat munchies and picnic fare until the flares.  We have a bonfire and toast marshmallows.  It is a blast.  You have an open invitation to come join us one of these years!

Ring of Fire Party in the Backyard

Delta Sigma Chi 50th Reunion, Heidelberg University, OH

I was able to get in some traveling, based mainly on visiting people I wish I could see more often.  Ed gets into a “zone” when he drives, never getting sleepy at the wheel, so if he is willing to drive us, I’m willing to go!  Ed’s gas-guzzling Buick finally died, so we are a two Prius couple now.  It is amazing how economical car travel is when you get 50 miles per gallon!  We spend time at the St. Lawrence River on the New York/Canada border and in New Jersey, just outside New York City, with Ed’s family a few times each year.  We also travel to the wedding destinations and receptions of couples whose weddings Ed officiates as a pastor.  We have been to a winery on the Finger Lakes, a golf course in New Jersey, our church in Tonawanda, NY, and even in Niagara Falls.  We went to Ohio to my Delta Sigma Chi reunion at Heidelberg University.  We were able to visit with my cousins and their spouses (Julie and Junior, Brenda and Dave, and Bonnie).  We went to Boston to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my Godchild and her husband, Lindsay and Stephen.  Lindsay and I hadn’t seen each other in over a decade, so it was so nice to see what a wonderful young lady she has become.  I was delighted to spend three days in early October, visiting with friends in North Carolina.  Thank you for letting me bunk at your house, Cheri and Jerry!  I was able to see the Whites (Judy, Ted, Evan, Jeremy, Nolan and Judy’s mother), the Greens (Jackie, Jim and Angel) and the Rubins (Diane, Raoul, Eva and Bill).  The main reason for this trip was to say goodbye to Diane, my co-worker and dear friend.  I went back again just before Thanksgiving to celebrate her life at her funeral. (The red sky and sun at dawn and dusk are like messages to me from Diane, letting me know that the world is okay, and that heaven is amazing.  I saw the sun rising as I traveled to the Rochester airport and the sun setting as I drove in Raleigh, NC to begin a most difficult weekend of saying, “farewell.”  Whenever the sky and sun turn red, I say a prayer of thanks that I was able to know and love Diane.)

Diane and Ed, Letchworth State Park, NY

Of course, much time and effort was spent planning our wedding weekend.  Ed and I participated in pre-marital counseling.  We thoroughly enjoyed it!  I think our counselor did too, because it gave her a chance to see lives coming together instead of falling apart.  In order to look my best as the bride, I had eye surgery in September. My eyes were very puffy on the lids, and my muscles couldn’t keep them open by the end of the day, so I had them “done.”  Perhaps the questions by the bridal shop personnel prompted the surgery.  (Are you the mother of the bride or groom? No.  Are you the grandmother of the bride or groom then?  No, I’m the bride!) Unfortunately, I somehow contracted the flu immediately after the surgery, and was down for the count for almost 3 weeks.  Luckily, most of the wedding plans were completed, so it only put us back by a little.

The four-day wedding weekend began on Friday afternoon with snacks and wine at The North Shore with Judy and Ted White who had just arrived in town.  I went onto a manicure and pedicure with my friend, Ruth.  Next was a wonderful dessert and drink party at my father’s home.  My singing group, Resonanz, made possible by Jenny Horn and Wendy Willis (Thank you, ladies!), provided the desserts and sent in wine.  On Saturday morning, Ruth and I got our hair done, then joined my father and others at a restaurant for breakfast.  We had the rehearsal for the wedding, pictures, a pot luck luncheon in the church social hall, and then a concert by Resonanz as the lead-in to the wedding.  Ed and I had taken ballroom dancing lessons, so we prepared a waltz routine to “Let Me Call You Sweetheart.”  We danced as Resonanz and the congregation sang.  Jeremy played a 4-hands piano piece with his former piano teacher, Dave Hurd.  We did the traditional lighting of the unity candle, listened to a hilarious homily by Ed’s friends, Sue and Mitch, and then said the “I Do’s.”  After the ceremony, we had more pictures taken in the church, and then joined a group of people for photo opportunities at Letchworth State Park.  We had dinner with a whole crew of wedding guests and then enjoyed champagne in a friend’s hotel room.  Ed and I stayed in the Bethia Suite at The Big Tree Inn in Geneseo, NY.  It was a top-notch accommodation, if anyone wants to give it a try!  On Sunday morning, we attended church and then enjoyed a cake reception in the social hall.  We bought sub sandwiches and ate them while en route to 5 wineries with a group of our friends on the Finger Lakes.  We joined others for dinner and then stayed in the Jacuzzi suite at the Woodcliff Hotel and Spa.  The next morning, I enjoyed a massage at the spa, giving out roses from my bridal bouquet to those walking passed.  We joined friends, Judy and Ted, in downtown Rochester before they caught their flight back home, being sure to stop into the homemade chocolate shop before they left. 

Jeremy's Harem, Senior Prom 2012

We spent quite a bit of time doing Senior-in-high-school activities with Jeremy and cousins, Laura and Amanda during the 2011-2012 school year.  We put on a graduation picnic for the girls at the lake.  Jeremy preferred to have kids over to go tubing and miniature golfing for his graduation celebration.  We went to plenty of performances for all three, and thoroughly enjoyed them all.  Of course, there were Senior Proms and goodbye parties too.

Jeremy had a very busy high school career.  He was part of wind ensemble, playing percussion, and played piano in the jazz band.  He competed on the county and state level in percussion and piano.  He won an award due to performing 5 pieces at one musical competition rather than just one, like all the other music students.  He worked hard at the Eastman Community Music School in percussion.  In addition to lessons there, he played in Drum Joy, a percussion class and ensemble.  He expertly entertained us at his Senior recital, filling almost an hour with his rhythmic abilities on timpani, snare drum and marimba.  Jer took piano lessons with our church organist and played at our wedding.  In church, he also played in the bell choir, attended youth group and put in a major effort as a member of the Pastor Nominating Committee.  Jeremy was chosen as a Youth Advisory Delegate to General Assembly, the governing body of the Presbyterian Church USA.  He spoke in front of the thousands gathered there about the use of machinery used to demolish Christian Palestinian homes in the West Bank.

Jeremy, the High School Graduate, with Diane

Jer was busy taking the SAT test twice and the ACT once.  He was in the play, “Diary of Anne Frank” and played paying gigs for the Dansville High School musicals.  Jer learned to drive. His accidents included getting hit at a graduation party while parked in the driveway and having a deer collide down the whole driver’s side of the car while driving home from a graduation party.  It’s just too bad he didn’t have his own car, because my car now has dents on both sides!  Jeremy got his braces off and has become a very social fellow.  He spent some all-nighters playing “Magic” with friends and having sleepovers complete with pizza, soda, junk food and movie marathons.  One of his big stories from high school is how he earned detention for two days, how he worked the detention into his schedule, and how he came to the realization that most kids go home from school and have time to work on homework because they aren’t practicing piano and all the percussion instruments, plus taking the lessons and music classes.  You can ask Jer about how he got detention.  While you are at it, ask him about the time he “took one for the team” in gym class on his birthday too!

Jeremy graduated from high school and began as a freshman at Belmont University in Nashville, TN.  He was a physics major, but found that he enjoys religion classes due to the discussions.  He is transferring to Grove City College in Pennsylvania for his Sophomore year, majoring in Religious and Biblical Studies.  It will be fun to see where he ends up.

Jeremy, Diane and David, the GW Graduate

David and Elizabeth

David graduated from George Washington University (GW) with a degree in International Relations, and a minor in Spanish and Economics.  He worked full time as a substitute secretary in a law firm for his first job.  He more recently took a new job in a three-person outfit that matches business partners with each other.  It was a cut in pay, but feels like this is his “dream job.” He is enjoying the challenge.  He and Elizabeth Barnett continue to date exclusively.  Elizabeth will be completing her graduate work at GW soon, so there will be more changes for them coming, to be sure.

Diane and Beau, the Chaperone

And now, onto the love story.  Ed Hoener and I were married in October 2012, at the peak of the autumn foliage in Upstate New York.  (You can see our wedding photos at imagesphotography.com).  Ed and I first met when he became the pastor of our church in Vestal, NY in 1992.  I served as his administrative assistant at the church and we worked on Session and fundraising together.  We have been in touch throughout the years, mainly through Christmas letters like this one.  Ed has been single for 12 years and I have for 5. 

It all began with a phone call.  I called Ed in the Spring of 2007, as I was selling the contents of our home in North Carolina, asking for an address for a friend whose returned Christmas card I found while packing.  I wanted to get together with friends from the Binghamton, NY area when Jer and I moved back North.  Of course, Ed asked me why I was moving in with my parents and he received the saga of my first husband’s, Wayne’s, infidelity, our subsequent break-up and pending divorce.  He must have been keeping notes, such as the date of my ex-husband’s and my separation, because he called me 366 days later to see if I would consider going out on a date. We met for a hike at Watkin’s Glen, NY, with my dog, Beau, as a chaperone.  We had a glass of wine after my choir practice.  Yes, Ed drove the 3 hours from Binghamton to Lakeville for a glass of wine!  We courted for 5 years, 1 week and 6 days before marrying.  We waited until I got Jeremy off to college.  (It was a rough 5 years for Jer and me, God bless him!)  One of our wedding cakes (out of 3) said, “I Just Married My Best Friend.”  As of the writing of this letter, we have been married for 6 months.  I am so glad I survived the “Black Hole” also referred to earlier as “the saga” in order to have this past 6 months with my dear friend and husband. 

THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU that helped me get through those awful years.  I bet you weren’t sure, just like me, that I would make it.  My dear friends in North Carolina and New York, my wonderful family, Neutral Ground Support Organization in Rochester, and many others kept me on the right track, reminding me that God always has a plan that we would see unfold if we waited patiently.

Ed is the full time pastor at the First Presbyterian Church of Tonawanda, just north of Buffalo, NY.  In addition to enjoying reading and writing, he loves to hike.  He feels “fed” when he is on top of a mountain enjoying a vista.  Ed has begun singing in Rochester Oratorio Society.  He was actually giddy after our first performance.  Ed’s guitar needed repair, so it was like welcoming a long, lost friend when he got it back from the shop.  He’s quite good at playing lead guitar, but doesn’t have the opportunity very often as he serves an elderly congregation that requires many visitations at home and in the hospital.  His expertise in the church, besides allowing people to feel welcome just “as they are,” is to foster growth by helping the church reach out to the surrounding community.  He and the church just completed a program entitled, “New Beginnings.”  It helps the congregation decide whether to wither away as its members die out or to change the way they have always done things to become a vital member of the community, thus fostering growth.  First Tonawanda has decided to move forward, beginning with the implementation of Small Group ministry.  It is an exciting time for Ed and his ministry!

Ed's Family

I’d like to introduce you to Ed’s family.  His mother, Ann, turned 80 on Christmas Day in 2011.  Ed’s sisters, Ellen and Sara, planned a surprise birthday party for her, but Ann fell and broke her leg (where the femur meets the hip bone) and contracted an infection.  She was in the hospital on her birthday, so the party was moved to late winter of 2012.  I don’t know how Ellen and Sara pulled it off, but Ann had absolutely no idea that friends and family had come from far and near to celebrate her 80 years in the church social hall in Roselle, NJ.  At the same time Ann broke her hip, Sara and husband Mike were both being treated for cancer.  Ellen and her husband, Mark, had their hands full in New Jersey, while we fretted from New York. 

Sara and Mike have three children, Rachel, Beca, and Michael.  Rachel works as an early childhood researcher at NIEER Rutgers University, Beca is attending Rutgers University as an English major, and Michael is completing his Senior year of high school.

Ellen and Mark both work in New York City.  Ellen insures really expensive artwork and musical instruments.  Mark works for Bank of America and can work from home, in NJ, helping his mom most days.

There are lots of Schumann, Anderson, and Hoener relatives.  I have met quite a few already.  We gather for a yearly reunion near July 4^th at the St. Lawrence River.  Both Ann and her sister, Judy, have summer places there.  We also met many of the Hoener cousins over Thanksgiving weekend 2012.  They are educators, artists, musicians, Kodak employees, sole proprietors…very interesting people to meet!

First Presbyterian Church of Tonawanda Family

Of course, along with the pastor comes the church family.  The folks at First Presbyterian Church of Tonawanda are a group of loving, open-armed, and dare I say, quirky, people, just like any congregation.  They have welcomed me into the church family as if I’ve always been a part of them.  Slowly, but surely, I hope to have each one over for dinner at our apartment in Williamsville, just east of Buffalo, NY.  When I invite someone to dinner, I usually am asked, “Why are you inviting me/us over?”  They must think they are in trouble with the pastor or they are being volunteered for something.  No, I just want to get to know them.  One of our church family, Jack, passed away recently.  It hit us all very hard.  “Quirky” describes him the best.  He was a God-loving, people person who was never afraid to shed a tear or share why he loved me, all the while teasing me with constant banter.  There’s another saint in heaven with my mom and Diane!  Quite often, Ed will arrive home from a hospital visit or a graveside service with tear stains on his glasses.  He truly loves his congregation and they love him, and now, me.  We are blessed!

Well, you made it through two years of living and dying, of laughing and crying.  Thank you for reading my family’s chronicle.  May you feel the blessings that are truly yours to receive!

Diane Stein Hoener

The 2010 Glidden Gazette

The Rockerfeller Christmas tree, on its side because I can't get it to rotate!

Happy New Year everyone!

I hope this edition of The Glidden Gazette finds you enjoying life in good health.

The "Gazette" is meant to share my family's highlights for 2010 in words and pictures. I hope you enjoy reliving the good times with me!

David and Elizabeth

I'll begin with David.  We haven't seen him much here in Lakeville, NY this year.  David is busy finishing his senior year at The George Washington University (GW) in Washington D.C.  That means he only comes home in between classes and work. He brought his girlfriend, Elizabeth, to the lake this summer for the Ring of Fire on July 3.  Elizabeth also attends GW and studies early childhood and dance.  It has been fun getting to know her.  She left after about a week to be with her family in Virginia, leaving David here to bake pies for our Summer Festival in Geneseo, NY.  He mixed the fillings for the pies, and had good reviews!

One thing that kept David in D.C. this summer was his appointment to the Colonial Cabinet, a sought-after position afforded to two dozen of the peppiest, college coeds I've ever seen.  The Cabinet provides entertainment and education in forums, skits, dancing, and singing during Colonial Inauguration (a.k.a. freshman orientation) at GW.  I volunteered during one of the sessions to watch him in action.  I saw David teach the freshman how to cheer GW style and share touchy subjects with the parents through drama.  (His performance was so touching at times that I cried!)  I was delighted to sit in on a parent talk that David and another cabinet member led.  He effectively shared the info the parents wanted to know and told them to chill out at the same time.  I was one proud Mama! 

David play the alto sax for the GW wind ensemble and pep bands.

Jeremy and I drove down this fall to attend one of David's band concerts.  We stayed overnight in his dorm (many thanks to his two roommates!) and enjoyed breakfast from the slim pickings in his refrigerator and freezer.

David was able to make it home for Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas morning two years in a row!  It is so much fun listening to the boys with their cousins over dinner, games of Pounce, Blokus, charades, etc. My siblings and their spouses ask the same questions I ask, but they get longer answers.  It's great to eaves drop on those conversations, I'll tell you!

Christmas Eve at the lake.

David turned 21 years old this year.  He has been an "old soul" for so long, and is now growing into the position in years.  Of course, he wanted to celebrate his birthday with friends in D.C., so I got him a gift card for he and 10 friends at a Spanish restaurant.  I knew he wanted to drink sangria, so I asked him to take many friends along to help him drink it.  I hear tell that my gift certificate helped with the final bill - Yikes!  That's a lot of sangria!!  I like knowing that at least the kids take the Metro or walk, and don't bother with cars in the city.

Yes, Mom got us matching pajamas for Christmas!

David plans to work for a year after he graduates until the University of Maryland consolidates its masters degree programs in higher education. David plans to continue working with universities large and small, public and private.  Who knows?  He may be a university president one day.  Stay tuned...

Now, on to Jeremy.

Poor Jeremy began 2010 with a temperature and had to miss most of the first week back to school.  For a social guy like Jer, that was torture.  He celebrated his 16th birthday and is now a Junior at Livonia High School, enjoying taking band and engineering courses whenever possible.  He joined Ski Club at the beginning of the year, but found the crowded, noisy bus ride unbearable.  I tried to take him as much as I could by car, but the warm weather came before he could use all his lift tickets.  It stinks to have sensitive ears... unless you are also a musician like Jer is!

Amanda, Jeremy and Laura celebrate Jer's 16th birthday.

Jeremy takes piano lessons from our church organist, as well as percussion lessons at the Eastman Community Music School in downtown Rochester.  In addition to his recitals and band concerts, Jeremy participated in a NYSMA (that stands for New York State Music Association, I think.) competition this year. He continues to participate in our church's bell choir, many times manning two stations (that's up to eight bells in one song!)  

Jeremy plays the quad in the Livonia Marching Band.

Jeremy has taken up an interest in a game called, "Magic," attending quite a few tournaments this year.  He and his cousin, Dan, play weekly on Skype too.  Jer also enjoys playing paintball.  He gathered some teams of friends this year so he could "kill" them.  I wouldn't want to be his enemy, that's for sure!

Jer tried something new this summer; he worked.  He helped out on the Phelps' farm in Arkport, NY.  He weeded the garden, painted, cleaned the warehouse, and helped with yard work at his grandparent's house. I just picked him up from helping to put up a beam for a new barn.  He seems to enjoy helping out.

Jer's first day as a Junior at Livonia High.

Jer also provided manual labor for a project our church is involved with:  a place called Lagom Landing.  It is a transitional setting for 18 - 23 year olds who need time to figure out what to do in life.  While contemplating their next phase, they learn hands-on trades, first responder skills, etc.  Jer is featured in their brochure.  He is raking the pea gravel for the basement of one of the buildings.  You can check out the website at lagomlanding.org.

Jeremy, one of my handsome sons.

Jeremy is quite involved in our church.  He is still part of the youth group attending a mission trip to D.C. to help the homeless, the Presbyterian Youth Triennium at Purdue University in Indiana, and was the only one from our church to attend an area-wide youth retreat near Corning, NY.  Jeremy volunteers his time on two church committees as a youth delegate.  He is just finishing a yearlong commitment on the Deacon's Committee and is in the middle of the Pastor Nominating Committee (PNC), helping to find a new pastor for our church.  

Jeremy is finally able to eat popcorn, peanuts, chips, sticky candy, etc. again!  Yes, that means he got his braces off after two long years.  He is quite a handsome guy with his new, strong chin and straight teeth, don't you think?

Diane is 50... and sideways!

And now, on to me, Diane.

 

I guess you could call this "The Year Diane Turned Fifty" since, that's exactly what happened.  There is more to it than a cake with fifty candles and funny cards warning of smoke inhalation. For instance, my family gave me gift certificates so I could have a massage each month during this 50th year of my life.  Wasn't that a great idea?  I thoroughly enjoyed my massages, and needed them too!  I still struggle with fibromyalgia and its chronic muscle pain and fatigue, so deep tissue massage is truly therapeutic.

 

Also, in honor of my 50th, I decided to use one of the leftover lift tickets from Jer's ski club package to try my hand (or should I say butt and skull?) at snowboarding.  I have never before fallen so hard, so often.  I found out something valuable though:  one of the pains I thought was from fibromyalgia was really from a pinched nerve in my spine.  My snowboarding fiasco exacerbated the pinched nerve, so I was a frequent visitor to the chiropractor and to physical therapy.  Through physical therapy, I found as close to a miracle cure as there is:  lumbar traction.  I now have my own traction unit that I use multiple times a week.  Coupled with yoga for exercise, I have no more pain pills or muscle relaxers!  There's more!  I began seeing an "anti-aging" or biomedical doctor.  Through blood and saliva tests, we have narrowed down why my body is so tired and in pain all the time.  I now take supplements and very few prescriptions to decrease my pain and to feel rested after sleeping.  It turns out that my body doesn't make what it should to function (such as cortisol), so my muscles ache due to the lack of the essentials to keep my body running.  Unfortunately, my health insurance doesn't recognize this type of therapy as medically necessary, so it is mostly out-of-pocket expenses.  I feel like a regular person for the first time in more than 5 years.  So I have to shop at rummage sales and second-hand shops.  There are worse things, like aching all the time.  

 

Dad planted these to honor Mom.

 Some tough things came up this year.  (Today I gave a children's sermon on how to look at the adversities in our lives as blessings, so this won't be too bad!)  My family dealt with all the "firsts" since Mom passed away. In Mom's honor, Dad planted hundreds of daffodils all over our lawn and they bloomed beautifully this spring. In February, I had to pay a 5-digit retainer to a child custody lawyer (Don't even bother to ask what poor decision Wayne made this time!) and, on the way home, my van died. Luckily, both things added up to the inheritance left to me by my mother that I had just received.  I am now a proud owner of a used Toyota Prius.  The gas and payment each month equal the amount of gas the van guzzled each month.  In March, I went to the emergency room with chest pain (yes, my heart is 50 as well!).  Good news!  After the EKG, chest X-ray, blood test, and stress test, we found my heart to be quite strong.  (The doctors think my fibromyalgia was the cause of the pain.)  I feel truly blessed.  God is good!!

I celebrated my birthday in an unusual way this year.  A local composer needed a choir to perform the liturgical mass she wrote, so I sang in the choir that released the first recording of the mass.  It was so much fun.  I also sing in our church choir, Geneseo Festival Chorus, Finger Lakes Choral Society, Rochester Oratorio Society (ROS), and a small ensemble subgroup of ROS called Resonanz.  And to think I didn't sing at all while living in North Carolina (in order to appease my ex, Wayne).  I guess I am making up for it now.

 

My fiftieth year has brought about a sense of giving back.  I find great delight in helping others, just for the enjoyment of it.  I have been involved with:

 *the Mentor Moms program with Catholic Charities.  I meet with a single teen mom each week, helping her to discover new ways to be an effective parent. ( I am now with my second charge.) I get to cuddle with her little one, who at the time of this blog, is 2 months old. 

 *Memory Lane worship services, leading worship once a quarter at a local alzheimer's unit.

 *Habitat for Humanity in Buffalo, NY.

 *giving the "Moments with Children" whenever I attend the First Presbyterian Church of Tonawanda.

 *co-chairing Central Presbyterian Women, my church's women's association.

 *baking pies for neighbors and Thanksgiving baskets for needy families in our area (just like Mom used to do).

Dad has fun for his 81st birthday at a Rochester Red Wings game.

I have begun my own company, the GAMUT, that you see advertised on the sideline of this blog.  In addition to helping my dad (who is now quite independent again), I help a friend of mine from church, Ruth, who needs assistance with getting to doctor appointments, with paying bills and budgeting.  I packed, moved, and unpacked her this summer, getting her into a senior independent living facility so she can enjoy life to the fullest for the rest of her days.   This is quite a necessary service in these times, I am finding.  Even a bank executive asked for my business card because she sees the elderly taken advantage of all too often. 

Ruth is 80.

Don't think I'm only exercising, in traction, singing, working and volunteering!  I have taken lessons this year in kayaking and duplicate Bridge. I helped my dad find the perfect pontoon boat that accommodates wheel chairs (he doesn't use one, but just in case it comes to that) AND tows water skiers.  I continue to scrap book albums for myself and my children.  

The sun sets over the St. Lawrence River.

I have been able to enjoy quite a few outings too.  I took Ruth and Jeremy on a trip to North Carolina this summer.  It was great to see so many friends from our life in the south.  Ed Hoener and I have enjoyed our  time together.  We "tear up" the dance floor at wedding receptions.  (Just this week, one of Ed's parishioners referred to us as Fred and Ginger!)  We visited the St. Lawrence River twice, at Ed's mom's camp.  (Her name is Ann and she is a real peach!) From there we took short trips to Ottawa, Montreal, and Old Forge (Nick's Lake).  We also visited Ann in New Jersey twice, making sure to take in the Metropolitan Museum of Art one trip, and Times Square, Rockerfeller Center, and Saks Fifth Avenue on another trip.  Ed and I also enjoy the local sights and sounds, such as the Rochester Strong Museum of Play, the Strong Butterfly House, George Winston In Concert, and the International Jazz Festival, in addition to my performances, of course!

The Changing of the Guard in Ottawa, Canada.

The beautiful gardens of Montreal, Canada.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ed plays at the Strong Museum of Play.

Well, that wraps up The 2010 Glidden Gazette!

Other pictures shown were taken in celebration of the coming of 2011:  Times Square, the Rockerfeller Center Christmas Tree, the ball dropping in Tonawanda, NY and the display of fireworks to celebrate all that is to come.  

I pray you all have a blessed 2011.  Keep in touch.  You know where to find me!

Love, 

Diane

Times Square, NYC

 

Fireworks to bring in 2011 in Tonawanda, NY.

The 2011 Tonawanda, NY ball (on its side).

Current Project: The 2010 Glidden Gazette

Now that my 2009 issue of the Glidden Gazette is posted, it is time to work on the 2010 issue.  Stay tuned...

The 2009 Glidden Gazette

Greetings!

  Hello, friends and family.  It appears that the yearly summary of my family’s events in 2009 has missed the December 25^th deadline, but I have time to send it now, so here goes.  David, Jeremy and I  wish you well as you receive our documentation of 2009.

Beginnings and Endings

  2009 began with hospitals, a diagnosis of lymphoma for my mother, JoAn Zimmerman Stein, and chemotherapy.  Mom fought the fight with dignity and courage, but the lymphoma got the best of her.  Mom passed on April 7, 2009.  Most of us were there, right by her side.  She passed peacefully, overlooking Conesus Lake.  Her last week was filled with friends, family, church family, and neighbors saying goodbye with their stories of how Mom enriched their lives.  Mom was mentally present almost until the very end, so she was able to realize the positive effect she had on others throughout her life.  If it’s possible, Mom’s end-of-life experience went pretty well. 

Mom’s grave with the flowers Dad planted in full bloom

  Her funeral was truly a celebration of her life on this earth and a promise of life everlasting. The church was filled with Easter lilies and white plants in preparation for the Easter service the next morning.  Our organist played Mom’s favorite hymns and accompanied the soloist and trumpeter while “The Trumpet Shall Sound” by Handel filled the church with praise and hope.

Fresh Starts

  Dad is doing as well as can be expected.  We both relish the fact that Jeremy, Dad, and I live together here at the lake.  The company for both of us has been a Godsend. 

   

Ed Hoener and my dad, Bill Stein

                 

  Dad found some great ways to cope.  He found a traction-like treatment on what he calls, “the rack” at a chiropractor that has helped him manage his pain more than anything else he’s tried.  He began a men’s breakfast group at church one day a month.  He eats breakfast with a former neighbor on Thursdays and with Jeremy and me on Saturdays.  Dad found that he copes better when he serves others, so he visits with friends and church members that are dealing with health problems.  This helps him feel like his situation isn’t so bad.  Yes, there are tears many days:  tears of missing Mom, tears that bring Dad and I closer together. 

  

 My siblings have been quite attentive to Dad for which I am grateful.  He has enjoyed two trips to Bob and Kathy’s and outings with Barb and Harry (many times for lunch). Dad doesn’t feel physically able to handle airports or long road trips anymore, so Bill has come here from Chicago quite often.  We have all rallied together to get through the major holidays without any more pain than is necessary.  One thing I did to get through Christmas without Mom was to bake all the cookie recipes she had written on a list I found.  We enjoyed a large variety of cookies, giving them away as thank you gifts to friends, neighbors, the postal carrier, etc.  All in all, we’re coping with our loss and doing okay.

Doing More Than Okay

  When Mom first saw David from her bed overlooking the lake, she said, “You’re a good boy.”  He got to share his love with his grandma and say goodbye.  What a source of strength and hope he is for me!

  David spends most of his time at George Washington University in D.C. where he is now in his third year.  David does well in his classes, works some part time jobs and is an R.A. in a “green” dorm.

David with a few friends

He has a good time playing in the pep band at the men’s and women’s basketball games. Whenever I visit him, we usually walk to a nearby restaurant to eat.  The number of girls that light up when they see David walking passed, saying, “Hey, David!” is remarkable.  David returns the greeting, calling each by name.  If these girls are anything like the single ladies and widows at my church, they continue crooning, whispering, “What a good-looking guy!”

Speaking of Good Lookers

  Jeremy is now 16 years old, sports braces, and is a sophomore in our local public school.  In addition to being inducted to the Junior National Honor Society, Jeremy participates in all the bands, including All-County Band.  He specializes in playing the timpani in addition to the other instruments every percussionist must master.  He receives percussion lessons at the Eastman Community Music School from the head of the percussion department.  I guess she and Jeremy make a good team!  

  Jeremy also takes music theory and piano.  His piano teacher is our church organist.  Jer also participates in two bell choirs under Dave’s tutelage.  Jeremy enjoys working with Dave, a wonderful man and an accomplished musician.  

  Jeremy has a number of people in our church that he enjoys working with and who are worthy of his regard.  One is the leader of his youth group, Gretchen.  He asks if he can help her at her house sometimes.  He helped her rip up flooring in her kitchen to expose wonderful hardwoods.  I’m so glad he chooses great mentors and I’m sure she appreciates her chief kitchen floor-ripper-upper! 

Jeremy on a ride at Darien Lake Amusement Park

 When Jeremy isn’t helping with a friend’s renovations, he enjoys playing a card game called “Magic” with cousin Danny and anyone else who will play.  The game has nothing to do with slight of hand, but with strategy and skill. Jeremy takes advantage of the wonders of Skype, a computer camera/communication set-up.  Danny lives in Maryland, so he and Jer practice their “Magic” skill and prowess at a distance. 

  Jer uses the wonders of Skype technology to keep in touch with his dad too.  He usually gets to see his dad in person each month, so Skype increases their number of visits.  Of course, texting and cell phone calling add to their visiting. 

  It is difficult being a son of divorced parents.  The divorce was final in October, so it has been rough on both the boys and our families.  Jeremy knows where he can show his anger over what has been happening, safely right here at home.  As I said, divorce is really tough on just about everyone.

  

The Big “D”

Actually, divorce is not hard on all involved; our lawyers seem to be doing quite well.  I know I have kept eight lawyers to date in business.  Life is complicated and secrets, lies, and betrayal make it even worse.  I wish that part would stop permanently!  To be continued…

Another Big “D” 

Another one? Yes!  I would consider dating as a big “D.”  My dear friend and former pastor from Binghamton, NY, Ed Hoener, and I first courted, after I was separated for more than a year, and have evolved into dating.  He serves a Presbyterian Church north of Buffalo, NY. 

 We get to see each other once a week, on his day off, most of the time.  We enjoy going out to eat at new restaurants, attending concerts and cultural events, and dancing at the many weddings he officiates.  He is very kind-hearted and thoughtful, honest -- a true-blue friend.  I tease him by saying he is more of a Venusian than I am (remember Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?)  He has been great through the turmoil and tribulations. 

An Unusual Date

Ferry Street, a Habitat for Humanity collection of homes in New Orleans where we worked with RHINO

Ed and I, and ten others, including Ed’s mom, Ann, went on a “RHINO” trip in October.  RHINO stands for Rebuilding Hope in New Orleans, a project sponsored by the Presbyterian Church and Habitat for Humanity.  I learned how to side a house, put in flashing and blocking, and attach corner molding on the outside corners of a house.  That was a wonderful trip.  I met many new friends from my local area and learned to love New Orleans.  What a fun place to visit!  There is still much more to do there, so I bet I’ll go back.

Life-Long Learners

Ed shares the love of learning new things with me.  We’ve learned to dance and ski together.

Ed looks like he enjoys skiing,

doesn’t he?

He has introduced me to hiking.  I’ve introduced him to playing bridge.  He stayed clear of my safe-boating and hoarding seminars however.  (I’m not a hoarder, but what better way to learn to organize and sort through my Mom’s things?)  Learning with him has been a blast!

A picturesque view from atop Bald Mountain in the Adirondacks

Talk About Fun People!

  The rebuilding trip to New Orleans was made possible by the generosity of a dear friend, Ruth Underhill.  Ruth and I are almost exactly 30 years different in age (she’s the older one!).  She came up with the idea of the trip since she isn’t physically able to rebuild houses and I am.  (My fibromyalgia is still rearing its ugly head, but I try to work through the pain as much as possible.  When I needed to sleep at the job site in New Orleans, I just lay down on the sidewalk and went to sleep.  (My RHINO friends had some wonderful “Kodak moments” at my expense!)  Ruth’s and my friendship has grown into a sisterhood of sorts.  We meet for lunch or tea nearly every week.  We call each other around 11:00 p.m. every night to be sure I have walked the dog, locked the house, and am safe and secure.  If it weren’t for Ruth, I wouldn’t laugh nearly as hard or as often.  There’s something about honest, spunky, good-hearted people that makes my life feel full, even amongst all the transitions.  I thank God for good friends like Ruth!

And in My Spare Time…

  When looking through my 2009 calendar, I realized I completed three scrapbooks this year.  One scrapbook takes me about 50 hours to complete, so that’s saying something.  I created two books for Wayne, the second one filled with our boys’ pictures and their growing up.  I had salvaged Wayne’s childhood scrapbooks years ago because they were falling apart. I felt it only right to put those early pictures and memorabilia back together again. 

 

  I attended three scrapbooking weekends, one on the beach in North Carolina and two on a lake in New York, all with dear friends. No one there agreed with me that I should do anything more than deliver a shoebox filled with old pictures, but I wouldn’t want that delivered to me, so I did a nice job for Wayne.   Now I need to get busy on David’s books.  I promised them to him for his college graduation.  I have eight books laid out for him right now, so I’d better get on it. 

  I am still singing with the Rochester Oratorio Society, Geneseo Festival Chorus, and our church choir.  A new volunteer effort is with a program called “Mentor Moms.”  I work with a single mom, providing assistance and education throughout her pregnancy, childbirth, and as she becomes a fantastic mother.  A few months ago I helped her organize hand-me-downs in her grandma’s basement.  I held, sang to, and loved her infant as she sorted baby clothing into 3, 6, 9, 12, and 18-month labeled boxes.  It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it!

Jeremy, friend Matt, and cousins Chloe, Amanda and Julia on Conesus Lake

Speaking of Jobs

  I’ve been trying to structure my days as I would a regular job workday.  What I have found is that my mental stamina, thanks to fibromyalgia and stress, lasts about two or three hours, maximum.  After that, I become mentally and physically sluggish.  I need more income, but can’t seem to persevere long enough, even for a part time job. It is impossible to make ends meet on what I receive for maintenance, now that I must also pay for health care on my own.  (Obama’s health care reform isn’t going to be in effect quickly enough for my situation.)  I’ll keep stretching myself and refilling my near-empty cup to build up my stamina.  For now, I’ll have to be satisfied with volunteer work, helping my dad, and spending my time on positive activities that not only help to add to my life, but to others’ at the same time. 

A Few More Major Events

  I was delighted to help my sister, Barb, put on a big retirement bash last summer.  She retired after working in a middle school English teacher position for over 30 years.  We invited her coworkers and friends to the lake for the annual “Ring of Fire” on July 3.  (It is a wonderful event that no one should miss.  All are always invited!  Make your housing reservations early though because our small town fills up quickly.) 

Harry and Barb Hellwig at Barb’s retirement bash on July 3, 2009

 We had a local restaurant deliver the meal, and I made all kinds of finger foods for appetizers.  The Conesus Lake Association and its members provided the spectacular fireworks display to cap off the festivities.

  Another fantastic event of last summer was my niece Sally’s wedding to her betrothed, Andy.  Their service was absolutely beautiful, and I have never before seen a more beautiful bride.  Their ballroom dancing classes paid off when they waltzed their bridal dance, sweeping the dance floor with finesse and grace.  I have never witnessed a more beautiful beginning to marriage (and I’ve been going to plenty of weddings lately!)  Their ceremony helped to begin restoring my faith in marriage.  Little by little I am healing, I think and I hope.

The sun rises yet again.  A view out my bedroom window on Conesus Lake in Lakeville, NY.

Tired of Reading Yet?

  I believe I’ve covered most everything from 2009.  I hope you feel I spared you of the ugly details of black holes, death, and lifting one by one’s own bootstraps on a daily basis.

  I always want to be truthful in my chronicles.  It is cathartic to summarize a year, telling what is really happening, and still looking forward to facing another year of unknowns. I believe some of the juicy details might make for more titillating reading, but you can call me to get those stories if you must … and it would be an honor to listen as you share yours with me.

  As we used to say in my Mary Kay Cosmetic days, I’ll stop now, but I’ll never be done!

High Falls in downtown Rochester, just one sight along the Genesee River Trail

Final Words

dianesglidden@gmail.com is my email, you can Verizon InCall me at (585) 694-0881, landline call me at (585) 346-6075, or even snail mail me at 3553 Pebble Beach Rd, Lakeville, NY  14480.  I’m on Facebook once in awhile too.  I can’t wait to hear what you have been up to!

My love to you and yours, 

Diane at the Lilac Festival

Diane Stein Glidden